HaMTaRo! The AnnoyingCelebrity Play
by Dark Witch
Summary: Your Favorite Celebrities Play The Ham-Hams In This Play! ***COMPLETE***
1. Faux Fur & Rhyme

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Ok. This may seem very very scary. That was intended. *muahahahaha!* Ok, I was seriously high on something when I wrote it. Ok. This could be like a play you see on a stage or something, or maybe on ice. See, celebrities are playing the Ham-Hams and trying not to do what they do best, be annoying celebrities.  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro.  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From "Friends") Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From "The Lord of the Rings") Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From "The Lord of the Rings" and "Pirates of the Caribbean") Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From "The Osbournes") Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From "The Anna Nicole Show") Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers "Eminem" (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/"Sk8er Punk") Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From "Austin Powers") Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- "Weird" Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer)  
  
~~~Chappie One~~~ "Faux Fur 'N' Rhyme"  
  
~*~Scene 1-Jingle In A Tree~*~  
  
*Shows Jingle/Tom Green strumming a guitar horribly.*  
  
Jingle/Tom: Kill the girl. Who wrote this play. 'Cuz it sucked. In every way. It has Hamtaro. But not you. Can't forget Dexter. Oh, and that Bijou. God, who wrote this crap? The rhyming bites. Well, you get what you pay for. Just hang tight. I'm not done with my babbling. Maybe I will tomorrow. But until then.Here's Hamtaro!  
  
*Jingle/Tom leaps off the tree, but lands on his butt. He runs off the stage crying.*  
  
~*~Scene 2-The Club House~*~  
  
*Boss/Celine, Hamtaro/Courtney, Bijou/Orlando, Pashmina/Anna,  
Penelope/Justin, Dexter/Avril, Howdy/Adam, Panda/Britney, Cappy/Al,  
and Oxnard/Ozzy sit around the table, drinking out of little colored  
tea cups. Elder Ham/Eminem is sitting on a tiny bench next to  
Snoozer/Elijah.*  
  
Boss/Celine: Ok, ladies and gentlehams. *Giggles, trying to keep the  
part of a hamster and saying gentleHAMS* Hamtaro, Panda, Cappy, Oxnard  
Maxwell and I---Hey where's Maxwell?  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: He never showed up for the f***in thing! *breaks his  
cane in half* I dunt even know who he's played by!  
  
Boss/Celine: Oh, ok then. Well, we decided to make an addition to the  
club house---  
  
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Boss, isn't the club house big  
enough?  
  
Boss/Celine: *rolls eyes* No. Alright? May I continue?  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: What in the h*ll was question is that!?  
  
Bijou/Orlando: *in a British accent* Hey, I didn't write the script.  
I'm just doing this to get paid. *looks at Dark Witch* I'm getting  
paid, right?  
  
Dark Witch: You guys aren't saying all the correct lines. But---*turns  
into a banana*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Ok then.  
  
Boss/Celine: Continuing, the new extension is a room, for, um,  
singing. Since, we were considering starting the Ham-Ham Chorus.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Yeah! Laura said she was in one at school.  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: YeahurKalaKanalsjgsaid she was in oneofemd*mnthings.  
Yeah.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: I couldn't hear a word you said!  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: Whaattt?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: *rolls eyes*  
  
Boss/Celine: So, does anyone have any ideas about how to build or  
anything about the new room?  
  
Dexter/Avril: I think we should paint it black and red with stars and  
blare punk music!!!! *looks exited*  
  
Boss/Celine: Uh.  
  
Panda/Britney: I can build anything, just not that. I refuse to do  
that. I think we should put little plastic dolls everywhere.THAT LOOK  
LIKE ME! *puts it up to her face* Just-Erm-Penelope?  
  
Penelope/Justin: Okyoo.  
  
Howdy/Adam: I gotta good one for ya, Britney erm Panda!  
  
Panda/Britney: Do I know you?  
  
Howdy/Adam: What's the difference between you and one of them dolls!?  
  
Panda/Britney: I'm Sexier?  
  
Howdy/Adam: *laughs* No! There is no difference! You are both made of  
plastic! Har Har Har!  
  
*Everyone looks annoyed*  
  
Howdy/Adam: I have never been not funny! *grumbles, as he sits down*  
And this stupid, faggy apron! *throws the apron*  
  
Boss/Celine: Anyone else?  
  
Pashmina/Anna: I think we should paint it pink with faux fur  
EVERYWHERE! Just let me call up my gay designer---  
  
Cappy/Al: Err, Anna. You got your part 1/3 down. Congratulations!  
*thinks of a parody about Anna Nicole*  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Whatever.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Well, I think we should have---*whispers in  
Boss/Celine's ear about a design for the choral room*  
  
Boss/Celine: Well, it's settled.  
  
Everyone But Boss/Celine and Hamtaro/Courtney: But we didn't here the  
plans! (  
  
Pashmina/Anna: *whining* But IIIIIIIIIIIIIII wanted it to be pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (  
  
Cappy/Al: *sings* Anna-Er-Pash' wanted the room to pink, but after all it would make her think. And that definitely would not be gooooooood. Because her head is made of pink wooooooooood. How does that sound, you guys? *puts on beanie* I am the best Cappy and parody writer, ever! *spins the beanie*  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: Sure, yo mutha f***er!  
  
Penelope/Justin: That sucked, 'dog'!  
  
Panda/Britney: Justin, I won't tell everyone we had sex unless you do a good job in this!  
  
Penelope/Justin: *sighs* Okwee Okwee Okyoo  
  
Cappy/Al: And Elder Ham has a quick temper, not just a fan of Idiotic Clubs he's a member----?  
  
Dexter/Avril: *blinks* Even I'M a better writer then that!  
  
Howdy/Adam: Yeah, right..*mumbles* Candians.  
  
Dexter/Avril: What did you say!?  
  
*Howdy/Adam and Dexter/Avril tackles each other and starts fighting.*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Someone is at the door.  
  
*Knock* *Knock*  
  
*Bijou/Orlando opens it, revealing -----------*  
  
.:|-|Who's at the door? What will the new room look like? Will Jingle/Tom quit singing? All hopefully answered in Chapter Two of HaMTaRo: The Celebrity Play!|-|:.  
  
Please R+R.Flame only if you have to.And if you have any  
recommendations for the story, e-mail me @ Nilla1990@aol.com...Yeah! 


	2. The Toaster

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro.  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From "Friends") Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From "The Lord of the Rings") Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From "The Lord of the Rings" and "Pirates of the Caribbean") Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From "The Osborne's") Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From "The Anna Nicole Show") Maxwell-George W. Bush (President) Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers "Eminem" (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/"Sk8er Punk") Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From "Austin Powers") Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- "Weird" Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer)  
  
~~~Chappie Two~~~ ""  
  
~*~Scene 1-Jingle In A Tree 2~*~  
  
*Shows Jingle/Tom Green strumming a guitar horribly.*  
  
Jingle/Tom: Oh boy. Here we go again. When do you think I'll stop? Maybe chapter ten? Where's Maxwell? He isn't here. Neither is Sandy. That is clear. I hate singing this. Like I said, it bites. And of course this is a fic no one will like.  
  
*Jingle/Tom leaps off the tree, landing on a pillow so he wouldn't hurt his butt.*  
  
~*~Scene 2-Who's At The Door? Definitely Not Al Gore!~*~  
  
*Everyone left to help Boss/Celine and Hamtaro/Courtney work on the new extension, except Bijou/Orlando, Pashmina/Anna, and Penelope/Justin.*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: *Opens Door* Wow! It's, err, George W.-Erm-Maxwell!  
  
Maxwell/George: Sorry I was late. I was too buisy complaining about Iraq, Saddam, Osama, and Weapons of Mass Destruction.  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Oh. OK then. Now, err, Maxwell. They are working on the new room!  
  
Maxwell/George: New room working they are? Wow!  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Whut?  
  
*All the other Hams come out of the room all sweaty and tired looking. They plop down on the ground. That is, all except Oxnard/Ozzy. He looks fine. When I mean fine, I mean not as tired and as drugged out as he usually looks.*  
  
Penelope/Justin: How does-I mean-Ooooookyoo Ookwee Oooookyoo Oooookwee?  
  
Panda/Britney: Good Justin-Err-Penelope! *pats Penelope/Justin's head* You put more Oooooooo in Ooookweeee!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: How did the new room come out?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Go see for your self.*sigh*  
  
Dexter/Avril: I think it could've been punkier.  
  
Howdy/Adam: Yeah, sure Miss. Skater.  
  
~*~Scene 3-Toasty-~*~  
  
*Bijou/Orlando, Pashmina/Anna, Maxwell/George, and Penelope/Justin enter the room. It is all yellow. There is nothing in it. It is completely empty, except one little toaster oven in the middle of the room. The group of hamsters ponder the toaster.*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: What in the bloody h*ll is that?  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Your not doing too good of a job with your French accent.  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Oui! It'z good now, no? *growls*  
  
Maxwell/George: I think you guys one of you sniff should the toaster see if sumthin is inside.  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Not me.  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Not me.  
  
Penelope/Justin: I will! Okyoo!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: *folds arms* Bonne chance  
  
Penelope/Justin: Whazz dat? Okyoo!?  
  
*Penelope/Justin gets ready to sniff the toaster, when.*  
  
Toaster/Toaster: BBBBIIIINNNNGGGG!!! *odd green-colored toast pops out of the toaster*  
  
*Oxnard/Ozzy runs into the room*  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: Hey! Myd*mn marijuanatoast isdone. *puts butter made with booze and more drugs*  
  
Penelope/Justin: Hey, dawg, gimme sum, or I'll call my agent err-i-mean Okyoo!!!  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: Nowayman.*walks out, locking the door behind him*  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Great. I'm locked in a room with a bunch of iiidddiiiioootttss..Where's my gay designer? *dials cell phone* Hello? It's me, sweetie! I need you to decorate my room! Yeah, faux fur and pink. C'ya MUAH! *hangs up*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Oui, there eez idiots. But you just called a faggee one.  
  
Maxwell/George: *sings, as he twirls his socks* He was a boy.She was a girl.Can I make it anymore obvious! *giggles* He was a punk. She was the president. How can you not get what I meant? He wanted her. But she'd never tell! *giggles* *whispering* She wanted him as well!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: I can't take it anymore! *Uses Maxwell/George to open the door. Using his head, Bijou/Orlando breaks down the door.*  
  
Penelope/Justin: Wiggy. I mean Ookyoo!  
  
*Everyone picks Maxwell/George up and throws him out of the studio*  
  
Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! ^________________________________^  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: You do relize that we will be getting a new Maxwell. Not to mention a Sandy.  
  
Everyone Else: As long as he doesn't have to do with Politics!  
  
*The Hams all here 60's music, girls laughing, and maracas coming from the tunnel.*  
  
Everyone: *perksies*  
  
Boss/Celine: Uh oh. This only means one thing.  
  
Everybody Else: What?  
  
*Stan/Mike Meyers a long with Sandy/Anna's Gay Designer ((I don't know his name, so lets call him AGD!)).)  
  
Stan/Mike: Hamadelic! *shakes maracas* Yeah, baby, yeah!  
  
Sandy/AGD: Oooooh, Stan! *shakes butt*  
  
*Sandy/AGD's Cell Phone rings.*  
  
Pink Cell Phone: **rriinngg**  
  
Sandy/AGD: Hello? Joan Rivers! How are ya! You need your house designed! Be right ova, dahling! *throws pink house wear at Pashmina/Anna* Here ya go, Hun! Now, design that room! Destiny calls! Chao! *flies away wearing a rainbow cape*  
  
Everyone: Dark Witch!!!!!!!!  
  
Dark Witch: Yeah?  
  
Everyone: We need a decent Sandy and Maxwell!  
  
Dark Witch: Okie Dokie! *ponders for a new Sandy and Maxwell* Hmm. *looks in phone book* Ok, I got two celebrities!  
  
Everyone: YAAAAAY! ^____________^  
  
*Some ham(s) knock at the door.*  
  
Dark Witch: Wow, that was quick. *turns into Ray of Light*  
  
*The door opens, revealing the "Real" Sandy and Maxwell from the show "Hamtaro" on stilts.*  
  
Sandy: *blinks*  
  
Maxwell: *looks at everyone* Sorry, I thought the clubhouse would be empty today.*  
  
*They scurry out, bumping into --------- as Sandy and ---------- as Maxwell*  
  
Dark Witch: And no, the lines are not how many letters there name is, I just randomly put lines. Hee hee! ^___^ Sorry if this was bad. I had a little bit of writer's block and I already have ideas for the next chapter and I didn't know what to write.  
  
I would like to dedicate this chapter to:  
  
The French Teacher, Mrs. Degeorge. Who is actually a horrible French teacher. But I did learn "Oui" and "Bonne Chance" and "Bonne Nuit". That's all I remember. That's why I'm taking Spanish! And, there is no credit to the TV cuz I didn't know what Anna Nicole's designer's name was/  
  
Telivision: *cries*  
  
OH, AND ONE THING:  
  
I just think George W. Bush is an arse. Nothing against America. I'm as Anti-War as the next girl, maybe a little more. And, I have no problem with gays and lesbians. I just think Anna Nicole's designer is funny/fake at the same time. That's all.  
  
If: you have a major problem with the way I slightly make fun of people, you have suggestions, you have comments, or anything else, e-mail me at Nilla1990@aol.com please. Thank joo very much! Please continue to R+R and only flame if you must!  
  
THANK YOU FOR THE NYCE R+RS. And, sympathy to "Assley" since her organs are outside of her. (Yes, I know it was you, Assley! But your still my pal! YAY You got on my fic! You should feel very special, j/k. ) If possible, tell your friends about this fic and how I can improve! THANKIEZ!  
  
.:-|~*~|.dA.r.K.w.I.t.C.h.|~*~|-:. AKA .:-|~*~|.hOlLy.|~*~|-:. 


	3. Stuck

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro.  
  
***SORRY Something messed up. Everytime I do quotation marks, it messed up. See: ". That's why it may seem a lil odd.  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From Friends) Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From The Lord of the Rings) Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean) Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From The Osbornes) Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From The Anna Nicole Show) Maxwell-George W. Bush (President) Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers Eminem (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/Sk8er Punk) Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From Austin Powers) Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- "Weird" Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer)  
  
~~~Chappie Three~~~ Stuck  
  
~*~Scene 1-Jingle In A Tree 3~*~  
  
*Shows Jingle/Tom Green strumming a guitar horribly.*  
  
Jingle/Tom: *stares at his lines* Ok, this is horrible. I refuse to do this.  
  
Dark Witch: So when will you do your lines?  
  
Jingle/Tom: Maybe Hanukah in 10 years!  
  
Dark Witch: Hanukah is more then one day.  
  
Howdy/Adam: Did somebody say Hanukah?  
  
Dark Witch & Jingle/Tom: Yeah.  
  
Howdy/Adam: *sings* Put on your yarmulke! Here comes Hanukah! Hanukah is the festival of lights! Instead of one day of giving we have eight crazy nights!  
  
Dark Witch: Amusing, but you skipped the beginning. Like when you say---  
  
Jingle/Tom: Just get on with the story already!  
  
Dark Witch: Oh yeah! Heh heh.  
  
*Jingle/Tom and Howdy/Adam leap off the tree.*  
  
~*~Scene 2-The Tunnel~*~  
  
*As the ham-hams were scurrying, they bumped into Maxwell/Nelly and Sandy? No. It's just Stan/Mike.*  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Yo I heard yall have a toaster problem.  
  
Boss/Celine: Yeah! Maybe you can help us. Tell em, Hamtaro.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: See, the toaster in the new choral room is stuck to the ground. And we can not lift it up. We are sure glad we found you. You always read about something.  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Let me check out this toaster.  
  
*EVERYONE goes to the new choral room, staring at the toaster.*  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: *tries to pick up the toaster, but cannot* Well, what else have you tried to get the toaster up?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Uh. We only tried lifting it.  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Well! Try different things! There has gotta be a way to get that toaster off the ground!  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: D*mn yo mutha f*cka toasta! Get off yo *ss and move!  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Well, cussing does not work.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: *tuggies* Aww…  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Nor tuggie-ing…?  
  
Panda/Britney: Ooooh baby! If you move, hun, I will show you what a girl REALLY wants!  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Flirting obviously did not work. So I guess pimp juice wont either.  
  
Penelope/Justin: Ooooookyoo! Ooooookwweeeee! Ooooookyooo Ooooookyooo Oooookweee!  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Uh…  
  
Snoozer/Elijah: Uh, zuzuzuzuzu, the Legendary Spatula will ,zuzuzuzuzuzuz, flip the ,zuzuzuzuzu, toaster oven of the ground ,zuzuzuzuzu.  
  
Bijou/Orlando: We're not on LOTR any more. There is nothing legendary.  
  
*Time goes by. They are bored.*  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: I know! Let's go look for the Legendary Spatula!  
  
Boss/Celine: Ok, as long as I am captain.  
  
Bijou/Orlando: And I just happen to have a Pirate Ship leftover from Pirates of the Caribbean!  
  
~*~Scene 3: The Boat~*~  
  
Boss/Celine: *in a pirate outfit* Yo ho! Off to the Legendary Spatula we go!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Ok, hams! We are off to this, er, island. To find the spatula. Any questions!  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Yo! Is it hot in herre?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: *looks annoyed* No.  
  
End Of Chappie 3!  
  
Hey! I GUARANTEE that all the celebs that play a ham ham will stay. And, who Sandy is will be revealed next chapter! There is only 4 more chapters to go. When you R+R, please put what I need to improve on. Thankies for the nice comments, but I would also like what I need to write better RANDOM fanfics! Muahahaha. J/K. I just got back from 6 Flags (Ohio). Very, um, ok. The animal part was dead. I liked the animals. I saw the cutest Toucan. So, I would like to dedicate this chappie to the very pretty/handsome, cute, charming, toucan I saw. Ok, that was weird. Heh heh. I should finish this by the end of this week if I re-type all the chappies. Thank yaz for reading. 


	4. LottaBob Island

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro. I also do not own: Green colorific markers, black sharpies, Bud's, and Wine Coolers. Nor Brad Swaile's soul (I wish lol). ^__________^;;  
  
***SORRY Something messed up. Everytime I do quotation marks, it messed up. See: ". That's why it may seem a lil odd.  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From Friends) Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From The Lord of the Rings) Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean) Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From The Osbornes) Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From The Anna Nicole Show) Maxwell-Nelly Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers Eminem (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/Sk8er Punk) Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From Austin Powers) Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- Weird Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer) Sandy-Martha Stewart (From Her Show That I Don't Know What Its Called)  
  
Chappie 4- LottaBob Island  
  
~*~Scene 1-The Ship~*~  
  
Boss/Celine: That way! To Lottabob Island!  
  
*Days go by and by and by and by and by and by and by! Pashmina/Anna painted the ship pink, Boss/Celine directed the ship towards the island, Hamtaro/Courtney tried to keep everyone's spirit up, Panda/Britney made new songs with Penelope/Justin, Dexter/Avril told everyone that this search was so complicated, Howdy/Adam sang all of his songs and did all of his jokes, Bijou/Orlando re-did scenes from his erm her new movie, Oxnard/Ozzy made some new drugs that were edible, Maxwell/Nelly told everyone he was sure it was hot in herre, Elder Ham/Eminem made a rap about Auntie Viv and how much he hated her, Stan/Mike kept saying Yeah, Baby! And Hamadelic! And Cappy/Al made a parody about pickles.*  
  
*So. After days of traveling, traveling, and Elder Ham/Eminem getting seasick between raps, they arrived at Lottabob Island.*  
  
Boss/Celine: Whoa. Is this place, deserted? I mean, I drove allllll niiiiigggghhhhtttt, tooo geeetttt toooo yoooouuuu iiii mmeeeeannn hheerrree!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Quit singing your song. Its stupid.  
  
Boss/Celine: Sorry.  
  
Panda/Britney: I wonder why its called LottaBOB Island.  
  
*Ten other male hamsters walk by with a name tag that says Jane on it.*  
  
Panda/Britney: Oh. That explains it good.  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: I hate to say it, but I'm homesick. And this place ISN'T deserted.  
  
Pashmina/Anna: I feel for ya, hun. I miss re-decorating the new room with.... PINK!  
  
*Suddenly, a female hamster runs out of a little cabin at the hams.*  
  
Sandy/Martha: Did I here home? Re-decorating? And New Room? Well, I'm your ham! I'm Mar-I mean-Sandy. Like, hello!  
  
Pashmina/Anna: I also said PINK! *winks*  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Heeelllllloooo! *lifts eyebrows, well, if he had eyebrows. I think that you---Wait. I think?*  
  
Sandy/Martha: *blinks* OK. Hello. Would you like to come into my little island cabin?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Sure, we're all F dot R dot I dot E dot N dot D dot S dot you know! *smiles* Wait, is it dashes or dots? Well, then we're all F dash R dash I dash E dash N-  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: Okay! We get the f*ckin idea! Your on the show Friends!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Sheesh.  
  
Sandy/Martha: *blink* *blink* Ooookay.  
  
Penelope/Justin: No no no no! Its oookweee not Ooookay! *waves pointer finger*  
  
~*~Scene 2-Sandy/Martha's Lil Island Cabin~*~  
  
Sandy/Martha: *Sips home-made Wine Cooler* This island is great. With the variety of color dyes, I can make baton ribbons in a variety of colors.  
  
Panda/Britney: *Sips Bud* Its so great that you greatly make great home products at a great quality for great people.  
  
Sandy/Martha: *Spits Wine Cooler across the table, landing on Dexter/Avril* No no no.I signed a deal with K-Mart that they would sell my piece of crap items. Why did you keep saying great for?  
  
Dexter/Avril: *Sips beer* Eww. *belches*  
  
Howdy/Adam: *takes broom and cleans the Wine Cooler off of Dexter/Avril, but puts dust all over her* Ha ha! *snickers*  
  
Dexter/Avril: Why should I caaaarrrrreeeee! *sips beer* Cuz your there when I *gulps* was scared when I got spitted attt..  
  
Howdy/Adam: Stop it.  
  
Dexter/Avril: *dumps last drop of beer down her throat* Oka Doke, Smoke! *throws beer can across the room, then giggles*  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: *rolls eyes*  
  
Cappy/Al: So, why do you only make piece of crap items? Is it because a lot of people don't like you?  
  
Sandy/Martha: No.  
  
Dexter/Avril: A cat is a cat except when it eats---PLASTIC EAR WAX! *giggles*  
  
Cappy/Al: Uh.Is it because you did that illegal thingy with the stock market and lost a lotta mula?  
  
Sandy/Martha: No.  
  
Cappy/Al: Is it because you only smile when---  
  
Sandy/Martha: NOOO! Its because  
  
Dexter/Avril: I WOULD LIKE TO BUY A VOWEL, PLEASE! *slaps Panda/Britney's back*  
  
Panda/Britney: Eww. *rubs shoulder on Penelope/Justin*  
  
Howdy/Adam: *points and laughs* Dexxie's drunk!  
  
Dexter/Avril: Nooooo..I'm a prep, remember? *writes A+F with black sharpie on her black shirt* Seeeeee?  
  
Howdy/Adam: No.  
  
Dexter/Avril: *blows nose on Howdy/Adam's hand*  
  
Sandy/Martha: Err, ok. It is because I'm really, a weasel.  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Whaaat?  
  
Cappy/Al: Are you a rabid weasel?  
  
Sandy/Martha: Yes.  
  
Dexter/Avril: *laughs* My mommie has a sweater and your on it!!!!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: What did you say she has on it?  
  
Dexter/Avril: A green colorific marker!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Oh. Let's go find the spatula now.  
  
Dexter/Avril: Okie dokie artichokie!  
  
*They all wander into the fortress, aimlessly*  
  
Dark Witch: Well, that's it for this chappie! I haven't updated in awhile, oh well. Sorry for the incredible Avril Lavigne and Martha Stewart bashing in this chappie. I just chose them to bash! Specially since I have this hatred toward Martha. Even though Sandy is one of my favorite characters. Go figure. 


	5. Ii Ant Ere Oo!

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro. I also do not own: Green colorific markers, black sharpies, Bud's, and Wine Coolers. Nor Brad Swaile's soul (I wish lol). ^__________^;;  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From Friends) Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From The Lord of the Rings) Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean) Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From The Osbornes) Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From The Anna Nicole Show) Maxwell-Nelly Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers Eminem (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/Sk8er Punk) Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From Austin Powers) Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- Weird Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer) Sandy-Martha Stewart (From Her Show That I Don't Know What Its Called)  
  
Chappie 5- Ii Ant Ere Oo!  
  
~*~Scene 1-The Jungle~*~  
  
*The Hams go looking for the Legendary Spatula*  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: *Hums "Oops.I did it again"*Hmm Hmm *pause* HmmHmm HmmHmm *pause* HmmHmmHmmHmmHmm *pause* Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm *pause* HmmOh Baby baby, Oops I did it again.  
  
Panda/Britney: *looks annoyed*  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Uh.Why are we looking for the Spatula again, Boss?  
  
Boss/Celine: I..Uh..don't remember. Everyone?  
  
Everyone: ????  
  
Dexter/Avril: Uh.What are we looking for again?  
  
Everyone Else: THE SPATULA!  
  
Dexter/Avril: Oh yeah.  
  
*.After Searching The Jungle For Hours On End.*  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: Hey! Iiiirememberileftsomedarnweedinthef*ckingtoaster!!!  
  
Everyone Else: What?  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: What?  
  
Dexter/Avril: We can't understand ya, silly! I heard toaster, but that's it.  
  
Boss/Celine: So that's why we were looking. To flip the toaster off the ground.  
  
*A Purple And Orange Spotted Bunny Hops By, With A Golden And/Or Legendary Spatula In Its Mouth*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: HEY! The Spatula!  
  
Everyone: Hi!  
  
Bunny/Dark Witch: *looks at them* Ii!  
  
Boss/Celine: Can we have the Spatula, please?  
  
Bunny/Dark Witch: Oo.  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Bunny/Dark Witch: OOOO!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: We can't understand you, like Oz-I mean-Oxnard.  
  
Bunny/Dark Witch: Of Ourse Oo Ant Under And Ee, I Ave A Atula Nn Ii Outh.  
  
Sandy/Martha: What?  
  
Bunny/Dark Witch: *rolls eyes* Utever.. *hops away*  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Now what are we suppose to do? We can't follow that rabbit all day!!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: How come there was a rabbit in the jungle?  
  
Everyone: ???  
  
Boss/Celine: Ok, let's just go home then.  
  
~*~Scene 2-The Shoreside With The Boat Floating, Ready To Sail. It's Sunset~*~  
  
Sandy/Martha: I will miss *sniffle* you *sniff* all. *wipes eyes with a orange leaf*  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: Why don't you come with us?  
  
Sandy/Martha: I guess Hilary has been missing me, so why not pay her a visit.  
  
Everyone Else: 0__0;; Ooook.  
  
Penelope/Justin: No no no, its OOOOKWEEEEE.!!! *waves pointer finger*  
  
*They all board the ship, and head home.*  
  
~END OF CHAPTER 5~  
  
Dark Witch: If you couldn't understand what the bunny was saying, here's what it was: I Can't Hear You! (title);Hi.; No.; NOOO!; Of Course You Can't Understand Me, I Have A Spatula In My Mouth.; Whatever.; I'm sure you all got it though. It wasn't that hard to understand how someone would talk with a large spatula in their mouth. ^_^ I finished Chap. 6 and Chap. 7 is gonna be the last. =( But 7 is gonna be RREEAALLYY long so sorry if it takes awhile to post. 


	6. Sandy's Story

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro. And I Love Disney World! ^_______________^ Yaaaaay Mickey Mouse!  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From Friends) Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From The Lord of the Rings) Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean) Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From The Osbornes) Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From The Anna Nicole Show) Maxwell-Nelly Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers Eminem (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/Sk8er Punk) Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From Austin Powers) Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- Weird Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer) Sandy-Martha Stewart (From Her Show That I Don't Know What Its Called)  
  
Chappie 6-  
  
~*~Scene 1-The Boat~*~  
  
*It's pouring raining, so they go hide inside the bottom of the boat and drink tea.*  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: So, Sandy, how'd you *sip* get on Lottabob Island? *sip*  
  
Sandy/Martha: Well, Hillary and I decided to go on vacation. We *sip* went to Disney World, Florida. It was a lot of fun. I saw these giant mouse- people and giant chipmunks. Of course I had to stay in the 'Hotel' but I snuck with Hillary anyway. I loved *sip* Disney World. *Huggles a miniature Mickey Mouse plooshie* *sip*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: That's great, but how'd you *sip* get on Lottabob Island?  
  
Sandy/Martha: Oh, yeah! Well, as I was saying, I was at Disneyworld. Hillary was pa*sip*cking up and I wanted to browse around a little while so I went off exploring. Well, when I came *sip* back she was all packed up and the ticket was on the table. I saw it, I thought it said Plane 6. So, I hopped in her bag and we went to the airport. While she was waiting *sip* for the plane to arrive, I explored. Then, on this loud speaker, a woman's voice said, "Plane 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 have arrived."  
  
Speaker: Hi! *waves* Hey, where's my tea?  
  
Dexter/Avril: *throws Tea at the speaker* Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha! Isn't life *sip* so complicated, Mister Speaker???  
  
Sandy/Martha: So, I scurried into plane 6. I couldn't find Hillary anywhere! And then I relized I read the ticket upside down and she was on Plane 9. I tried to get off, but it was too late. So, I flew to Hawaii. And *sip*then these hams I met there took me to Lottabob: The *sip* Non-Human island. So there. Happy with my story?  
  
Boss/Celine: Yes.  
  
Everyone: *gives the 'thumbs up'*  
  
Boss/Celine: I laughed.  
  
Everyone: *grins evilly*  
  
Boss/Celine: I cried,  
  
Everyone: *wipes eye*  
  
Boss/Celine: I learned that RoseArt Washable School Glue is Safe, Non- Toxic!  
  
Everyone: *squirts RoseArt Washable School Glue (which is Safe, Non-Toxic), EVERYWHERE* WHEEEEE!!! ^____________________________________________^  
  
Sandy/Martha: Eww.Sticky.  
  
*They Arrive At The ClubHouse*  
  
~*~Scene 2-The ClubHouse~*~  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: It's great to be home.  
  
Boss/Celine: Yeah.  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: *pulls out drug-toast* Eww.Itsburntdarnitihateyoutoastyoustinkyousuckwahiwantmymommy!!!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Oxnard, it looks like your toast it ruined.  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: *kicks toaster*  
  
Toaster:*slides and flips across the room*  
  
Everyone: Hey! HOW'D YOU GET IT TO MOVE?  
  
Snoozer/Elijah: zuzuzu.give.zuzuzu.things.zuzuzu.time.zuzuzu.and.zuzuzu.things.zuzuzu.will.z uzuzu.become drunk.  
  
Everyone: YAAAY! THE TOASTER MOVED! *dances*  
  
~END OF CHAPTER 6~  
  
Dark Witch: Sorry if that was short. I guarantee Chapter Seven, the final chapter, will be long. It will include a one of my favorite forms of songs: PARODY! And Jingle/Tom will be in the last one! YAAY! Go Cheese Whiz! 


	7. It's Time To Be Weird

HaMTaRo! The Annoying-Celebrity Play  
  
Early Credits:  
  
I, Dark Witch, did not create anything involving Hamtaro besides this fic. Ritsuko Kawai obviously created Hamtaro. And I wrote all the parodies so no stealin! =D LAST CHAPPIE! Sorry for takin awhile to post.  
  
Actors/Actresses:  
  
Hamtaro- Courtney Cox Arquette (From Friends) Boss- Celine Dion (Singer) Snoozer- Elijah Wood (From The Lord of the Rings) Bijou- Orlando Bloom (From The Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean) Oxnard- Ozzy Osbourne (From The Osbornes) Penelope- Justin Timberlake (Singer) Pashmina- Anna Nicole Smith (From The Anna Nicole Show) Maxwell-Nelly Panda- Britney Spears (Singer) Elder Ham- Marshall Mathers Eminem (Rapper) Dexter- Avril Lavigne (Singer/Sk8er Punk) Howdy- Adam Sandler (Singer/Comedian) Stan- Mike Meyers (From Austin Powers) Jingle- Tom Green (Comedian) Cappy- Weird Al Yankovic (Singer/Parody Writer) Sandy-Martha Stewart (From Her Show That I Don't Know What Its Called)  
  
Chappie 7-  
  
~*~Scene 1-The New Room~*~  
  
Sandy/Martha: This room looks horrible! I need to re-design this piece of crap!  
  
Pashmina/Anna: HEY! My designer designed this! Don't go dissin' pink faux fur, girlfriend!  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: Yo, b*tches! I recommend yo get yo acts together!  
  
Sandy/Martha: Well, let me get out the best designing materials and you should all leave. I'm gonna re-do this room..NOW!!!!!!  
  
*Sandy/Martha takes a box of Crayola Crayons. She draws all over the walls, ceiling, and floor.*  
  
Sandy/Martha: There! Finished! And it's beautiful!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: It smelled like *hif* *hif* CRAYONS!  
  
Boss/Celine: What should we make the new room as?  
  
*All the hams write down what they think it should be made into and put the paper into Bob's purple pants.  
  
Bob: And the new room is going to be..*pulls all slips out of pants*.A CHORAL ROOM! YAAAY  
  
Everyone: Yaaay!  
  
*Everyone stands on risers with choral music in their paws/hands. They begin to sing.*  
  
Bijou/Orlando: It's Time To Be Weird!  
  
Sandy/Martha: Re-Design, Re-Design Whoo!  
  
Pashmina/Anna: Pink Faux Fur!  
  
Penelope/Justin: When I'm With Panda I Feel Much Better  
  
Jingle/Tom: No more rhyme!  
  
Oxnard/Ozzy: I like to bake drugs with the toast-er.  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: D*mn toaster  
  
Panda/Britney: If 'Lo-pe talks wrong I won't let her!  
  
Jingle/Tom: NO MORE RHYME!  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Fake hamsters weird adventures!  
  
Boss/Celine: No time to be weird lets try to be very funny  
  
Maxwell/Nelly: But it won't work as long as 'Spatula's with Bunny  
  
Howdy/Adam: Even though she re-designed I think that she'd rob  
  
Dexter/Avril: We should've really left Sandy at Lottabob  
  
Sandy/Martha: *steals toaster and snickers evilly*  
  
Snoozer/Elijah. *sarcasticly* Whoo.  
  
Jingle/Tom: NO MORE RHYME!  
  
Boss/Celine: Snoozer, Howdy, Penelope, Panda.  
  
Jingle/Tom: 'GOT THE TIME?  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: Oxnard, Bijou, Cappy, Maxwell.  
  
Jingle/Tom: (I'm) OUTTA MY MIND!  
  
Bijou/Orlando: Dexter, Boss, Pashmina Jingle.  
  
Elder Ham/Eminem: WHATTA BOUT' ME?  
  
Cappy/Al: Hey I wrote this I demand some major respect! WHEE!  
  
Jingle/Tom: Stop The Rhyme!  
  
Everyone Else: (But) The Rhyme's Here To Help You!  
  
Jingle/Tom: What The Crap?  
  
Everyone Else: Dark Witch's Rhyme Is For You!  
  
*Everyone takes a deep breath and sits down around the table.*  
  
Hamtaro/Courtney: I wonder why we never took out that toaster.  
  
Everyone: Who knows.  
  
Sandy/Martha: Did you ever get the idea that Penelope likes Pashmina, and vice versa?  
  
*Jingle/Tom secretly scurries out and into the Choral room with his guitar. He strums his guitar horribly and begins his last rhyme of this story, since it is the last chappie.*  
  
Jingle/Tom:  
  
So to all of you readers  
  
Who wasted their time  
  
Reading this thing  
  
And hearing me rhyme  
  
Let it clear your mind  
  
'Hope it'll fade away  
  
Well, that's all  
  
For HaMTaRo: The Annoying Celebrity Play  
  
~THE END~  
  
Dark Witch: Yesh, that was a parody to Hamtaro Time! ^___^ *sniffle* The Hyperness IS Over! *sniffle* Well, it was fun writing this. I hope everyone who read it enjoyed it. I made Sandy one of the main characters because in the series there's only 2 with her mainly in it. I hope you all didn't think it was a waste of my time to do all this. Tell me what you think. Review or e-mail me at: Nilla1990@aol.com. 


End file.
